Every year at this time, I usually come up with some lame comment like, “I’m taking the rest of the year off, so my next column will not appear until next year.” I try to be funny by saying something that I feel might come across as clever. Sometimes I succeed, and other times I feel stupid for even trying to be funny. I’ve mentioned more than once that my purpose in writing this column is to bring a ray of hope into someone’s life. We are not doomed. All we need to do is laugh and love more and not take life so seriously. We also need more hugs and fewer slugs. Unfortunately, you should ask before hugging. Learn to accept everyone for who they are and agree to disagree from time to time.
This being the final column for 2017, I’d really like to clean out my miscellaneous file and use the contents as sort of a belated Christmas gift to everyone. The file contains some words of wisdom and a few questions that might make you mutter, “Hmmm”. I hope you enjoy most of them and share some with your friends. It will be a true test of who your friends really are. Here we go:
If you expect the unexpected, doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?
Do bald people use shampoo or soap?
Why is “W” called “double U”? Shouldn’t it be called “double V”?
Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their work only after they are fired.
Why is Greenland covered in ice, while Iceland is covered in green?
Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be.
Two people can never go to each other’s funerals.
Do all dogs bark the same language?
Here are the final three “Myth Busters”:
Windmills kill a considerable number of birds, bats, and moths. FALSE. Wind energy’s impact on birds is extremely low compared to buildings, car/truck traffic, and house cats. Burning fossil fuels creates air and water pollution that does far greater harm to wildlife and the environment. See: Technology Review.
Solar energy cannot serve any significant fraction of the country’s electricity needs. FALSE. Installing photovoltaic panels to cover the 5 million acres of “brownfield”-abandoned industrial sites in US cities could supply 90% of our current electricity use.
Turning your car off uses less fuel and is easier on the components than letting it idle for two minutes, even in very wintry weather. TRUE. Idling for more than 10 seconds uses more fuel than restarting the engine. Excessive idling can cause incomplete combustion, harm cylinder walls, foul spark plugs, and corrode exhaust systems. Driving slowly is more effective at warming up a car than idling. See: Natural Resources Canada.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of six months waiting at red lights.
See you Out and About next year.
Submitted by Norm Stutesman