Out and About – Week of December 30th

This column is special. It is my last column of the year and hopefully, the last column filled with funny but true comments. If everything works out the way I want it to, I should be able to get Out and About on my own, and therefore spend the proper amount of time putting this column together in the right way. Meanwhile, here are more things I’ve taken from my file cabinet with hopes of keeping you interested in continuing to read this column.

Some clever comments worth saving:

• Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often.
  Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
  Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

Out of the mouths of babes:

– Steven, age 3, hugged and kissed his Mom good night. “I love you so much that when you die, I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.”
– Marc, age 4, was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, “Why is he whispering in her mouth?”
– Clinton, age 5, was in his bedroom looking worried, when his Mom asked what was troubling him. He replied, “I don’t know what will happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?”
– Tammy, age 4, was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, “Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”

Ten ways to put a little romance in your life:

• Remember to say “I love you” and “I need you” often.
  Plan a surprise getaway.
  Do your mate’s household chores.
  Make a heart-shaped bookmark and place it in their book.
  Buy a stuffed animal for your honey.
  Fill up the gas tank of your partner’s car.
  Bring home a balloon bouquet.
  Write a thank you note for all the things you take for granted.
  Hide favorite candy in your partner’s coat pockets.
  Share an ice cream cone.

See you Out and About!

Submitted by Norm Stutesman